Happy Appy

February 23rd, 2011
Hello, I discovered a show called Happy Appy, and it is making me homoerotically confused. Sometime during 1999, after Noggin was launched, Nickelodeon aired a new show on their program, called Happy Appy. It sounds like some nursery rhyme that a babysitter would sing, but it wasn't. It was a short show and was normally played in duets, making each episode 20 minutes, minus commercials. A month after it premiered, it was pulled off the air, and was never aired again,even its nicer episodes. However, some parents did record the show in VHS copies.

But of those VHS copies, only some survived. However, what was really rare was an intact DVD copy of any episode. I was one of the lucky ones that had a DVD copy. Yesterday, when I did some spring cleaning recently (okay, winter-spring cleaning, but who cares), I found some old DVDs, with sharpie on them. They read HA 1-10. I did some research by using Google, and on Yahoo(Unfortunately), I found out that those were the initials for Happy Appy. In the replies, they said that there are no DVD copies around, which is false, because I have some copies.

So I decided to put them into the disk drive, praying for them to work. Well, they did, and they instantly cut to the intro. By the way, I really haven't described the show, haven't I? There is this giant clay apple with hands and feet. He helped children when they got hurt,. But as the show progressed, it just got creepier. Like, death-stare-and-evil-smile creepier. By the 8th episode, he wasn't even a clay model. He looked like he was CG, but he wasn't. Probably a very good animation? To describe more about the colors of Happy Appy, his eyes were dark blue, his mouth was dark green, and he had a leaf on his head. His intro song had the same tune as "Mary had a Little Lamb". It went something like this "Happy Appy, Appy App" repeated three times. Anyway, enough with that. Let's describe the actual show episodes.

Episode 1 and 2 were called “Happy's Dungeon” and “Hurt Happy”, respectively. Happy's Dungeon was exactly what you thought; Happy going in a dungeon, and helping kids at the cells. Hurt Happy was Happy getting hurt, and the kids helping him, by giving him band-aids and giving him fruit (Which is weird, because they gave him a apple in one part.) Nothing seemed out of place when I first saw it, but when I saw it a second time, it looked very odd. While Happy was driving his van in Happy's Vacation, some frames were skipped. I ignored it, saying that it could be a scratched DVD. But when I checked it, it was scratch.

Also, I noticed some out of place objects in Hurt Happy. In Happy's Van, there was what looked like the border of the Obama's HOPE poster. Also, the radio plays a country music-esque version of "Hot n' Cold", which was made in 2008 and very out-of-place for a kid's show. I thought those were just coincidence. Well, I was wrong. Episode 3 and 4 were stranger. One moment that could send chills down anyone's spine was the "Booboo scene" in Episode 4. Happy has a child that has a bruise on his knee. He looks to the camera, death stare on face, and says "What does Nate (I think that was his name. It wasn't Kevin) need for this beating?".

For 30 seconds, he stared at the camera, motionless. His dark blue soulless eyes locking on with anyone watching. Finally, he spoke; "That's right! A band-aid!!" Why did he need that long to speak, I don't know. The intros were cut out, and the main episodes were missing a few scenes. On Episode 3, 05:12 is when he does his first death stare/evil smile. For 30 seconds. It was somewhat eerie. Also, the out of place objects were getting more noticeable. There was a news broadcast about a tsunami that recently struck Japan. Happy said "Oh no! If you want to help save the Japanese, call this number!" and a 1-800 number was listed.

February 24th, 2011
I watched Episode 5. First off, it had Happy on his new stick. This episode was very unnerving. In the episode, Appy was doing his trademark death stare and smile for half the show. Afterwards, he helped 2 children, the first one he took out of sight behind a bush. Blood is seen from the bush and screams are heard. The other kid waits for Appy, then he's seen emerging from the back of her then it skips frames, next thing I see is a blood trail leading to another bush and Appy doing that creepy smile.

Episode 6 showed Appy doing a death stare but it was hardly viewable. Then, it went static it for the rest of the show. I couldn't believe it, I was so hard.

I moved on to Episode 7-8. This time, the episodes were so badly made that they couldn't have been aired on Nick. Episode 7 had Appy take a kid into his van. Flesh cutting could be heard, and so could blood splatters on the windows and screams, which turned into gurgles.Then, he emerged, doing a death stare and smile from 09:21 to the end of the show, or 10:00. Like I said, 8 had him be a CG-ish monster. But this episode was so coincidental, I couldn't believe Nick would even allow it.

It starts out with Appy going around the playground, telling kids about the cycle of life. By cycle of life, i meant frogs and plants. The kids then said "Thanks, Happy!" But then, smoke creeped behind Happy, so Happy and the kids turned around. Two towers (9/11 mentioned in 1999) were burning up, with people falling out of it. There was a lot of screaming, fire, and a crashed airplane, the tail could be seen sticking out of one of the towers. I could hear a faint whining noise, and I think that it was the plane. Then, a piece broke off, hitting and possibly killing someone. When the kid asked "Appy, what are the towers doing?", it cut to a kid that was stuck under a huge metal piece, crying for help. Some other kids tried to help him. He was screaming so loud, it was almost heart breaking. There was blood everywhere, and the fear on his face was so realistic, I cringed. Appy turned to the camera, and just like the photo in the top-right hand corner, said these 3 words. "That's natural, children." He then dragged them away, leaving the trapped kid screaming

I jumped out of my seat. Was Appy a death-bringer of some sort? Or was he a master predictor? I had to continue. Episodes 9-10 were up.

Oh, and you want to know what happened when I called the phone number? I'll call it tomorrow, because I apparently can't call phone numbers without extensive research.

February 25th, 2011
Just a quick thing. I called the phone number mentioned on Episode 3. It was a recording, which I will translate for you.

"Hello! I'm Happy Appy, every kid's most helpful Apple! If you want to make a donation, press 1! If you want to know about the earthquake, press 2!"

Pressing 2 gave me this:

"An earthquake and tsunami hit Japan, and we need your help! If you can make a donation of 1, 2, 5, 10, 20, 50, or 100 dollars, you'll be a big help! Anyone who donates will get a Happy Appy badge!"

So, I decided to press 1 and donate a dollar to the donation. It then said this:

"Thanks for helping with the second Tsunami! Now in the mail, you'll get you're Happy Appy badge in a week!"

February 27th, 2011
Episode 9 was corrupted, it started up but the whole thing had no audio, and the first part was so messed up that it was hardly fappable. The next part was just plain static for the rest of the video. Great, 2 missing episodes, I thought. 10 wasn't. It started with some weird, off-beat carnival music. It started with Happy Appy still looking like what he did in Ep. 8. But this time, as the episode went on, his CG-ish model looked worse and worse. Like, injury-wise worse. He was in his van, driving against the road, that looped on and on. Eventually, he reached the playground. Many children were at play. Happy looked like he was ready to kill all of them. Then, he said "Hey kids, who wants to see Happy do a magic trick?" The kids cheered, and ran into his van. He then closed the door, and drove off. After that, he came back, smiling like he just killed them all.

I couldn't take it anymore. For some reason, Happy was making me feel nauseous. But I continued. The remainder of the show (before the credits) was him reading the news, with future events that didn't happen for a long time. Examples were the Libyan riots, Chris Benoit's suicide,and the SS Columbia disaster. Meanwhile, there were random breaks, which showed a "behind the scenes" look at him realistically murdering a child. At the credits, Happy was holding a knife, covered with blood. The camera shot down, where there was a table. A hand with blood was visible. Then, it cut to a blank screen, with white text.

"If you get these DVDs, I copied Happy over to them. I wanted to preserve this so that they weren't lost forever. Now you might wonder, how did Nick allow all 10 episodes (or 7)? I don't know. They just did, that's what. If you want to know more, see me.

-KC"

Was that my friend, Kevin Costoe? Well, he did say that he worked with Nick until the end of the millennium, so he probably helped with Happy Appy. I decided to visit his house.

When I entered, Kevin wasn't home. His wife was sitting, crying. I asked her what happened to Kevin. She replied with something that shocked me. "I don't know what happened, but something or someone kidnapped him last night. I don't know where, but he or she left this. Take it." I then got a folded up piece of paper. I unfolded it, and it was a picture of Happy Appy during the 9/11 scene, with the exception that he looked badly scarred. Before I left, I asked her how those horrifying episodes got on Nick. She replied with "He...drugged the producers! He was going to-" That was enough. I couldn't bear to take it anymore. so I left the house, and drove off. When I got out, I decided to walk toward my house. Then, I heard a gun shot and screams from a woman, probably Kevin's wife. I then glimpsed at the picture again.

This time, Appy wasn't in the photo. I instantly ran to my house, because I know whoever killed Kevin's wife was trying to kill me. Before I opened the door, I saw one last glimpse behind me. It was Kevin's mutilated arm in a bush, and a unknown figure standing behind it.

March 3rd, 2011
Hey. I wanted to know if anyone has any Happy Appy videos. If you do, send me the link to one. What happened to my discs, you ask? Well, I found them in pieces, like a claw slashed them in thirds, along with a note saying "No more evidence now, huh?"

March 4th, 2011
I finally got my Happy Appy badge. It came in a bag that had a timestamp from 1999-2000. When I opened it, I got a letter from Happy Appy and the badge. The bag was Happy Appy smiling, but not with the death stare. On the back said "Happy Appy Helper Badge!" I decided to read the letter. To my friend! You have helped us help the Japanese! Of course, let me introduce myself! Unarguably, you have heard of me on Nick Jr! Can't understand? Well, I'll give you the answer! Happy Appy Appy Ap! Appy App, Appy App! Happy Appy Appy Ap, he helps kids all day! Now, where do I start with my gifts? Today, I have given you a nice badge, right from the playground! How did we get these, you ask? Running across the playground, I tripped on a rock. I fell, but I noticed the ground was uneven! Undoubtely, something was there, so I dug the ground up and there were a crate of thousands of these badges! Now, it's time to be off! See me on my next adventure! Love, Happy Appy

March 5th, 2011
Today, I got a email from a man who claims to be a user on Wikileaks. He heard about my conquest to find Happy Appy, so he tried to find any documents related to it. He did find one, which told employees to never air certain TV shows or movies. After browsing through a big description of Cry Baby Lane and other shows, I found this text:

"One show, originally named 'Happy Appy' was cancelled, due to blood and gore. The original show depicted an apple named "Happy Appy" that taught kids how to handle certain injuries. On their final, and only 8th episode, it was only 2 hours when Noggin removed all traces of the show happening. 2001 reports say the episode seemed to depict happenings of 9/11, even though the episode was shown in 1999".

I'm getting more suspicious.

June 6th, 2011
Ah, crap. I've been having nightmares of Happy since my last post 3 months ago. The dreams range from Happy's smile to him killing a kid. Also, about the mysterious figure, I've been seeing him more. I've seen more of him to tell you more about his physical features.

First off, he isn't shadow, because he has some sort of a face, with a mouth. However, the mouth seems to be locked on one expression; Happy's death stare. I wonder if he's Happy? But more about his body; he's slightly taller than me (I'm 6'2) and seems to be about mid-weight for his height.

I've boarded up my house because he obviously wants to kill me.

June 11th, 2011
I'm at the local elementary school, the only place nearest here where he won't find me, and also has a computer. It's been five days since my last encounter with him, and my house is gone. Burnt to a crisp. The strange thing is, no one seems to notice: it's like it never happened, or worse, like the house never existed. But at least I'm safe here. Wait, I hear rustling. That's not good. Hey, I see Harold Kleiner, walking in the bushes. Wait, why is there blood on his face? It might be that figure again. I'm going to see.

June 28th, 2011
I bought a new house today. It's two stories tall, and it's fireproof this time, as opposed to being fire-loving. It's got big gun turrets and awesome rockets. One of my friends, Jim Forester, actually remembered Happy Appy. He said that there were more episodes I forgot. Turns out, the most violent episodes were actually at the end. The entire series was supposed to have 25 episodes, plus a TV movie. No one mentioned it, because Jim had the only surviving tapes. The series got more violent slowly. He sent me a disc with fragments of Happy Appy episodes. Here's what they are.

The first starts out with a school bell ringing. Happy Appy is standing next to a kid. The kid says that he can't understand math. The teacher said "Class is dismissed". Then, Happy sings a math song. It is distorted, but I could make out these lyrics:

2 minus 1= Then your homework is done!

After that, the kid says "Wow! Thanks, Happy Appy!" The next fragment was one of the more violent episodes. They were mixed clips, but here's what happens in order; There were more to be seen. There was one fragment of a somewhat violent episode. Happy was putting a bandage in a kid's arm. In the far corner of his pocket, a needle with green fluids was seen. Happy then put the needle into the kid, knocking him out. He then drug him into his van, and a rape was heard. The DVD just stopped.
 * 3 kids were crying so loud, it was almost painful to hear.
 * Happy Appy and 2 other kids were raping another kid.
 * The kids were crying because their families were gone (they died)
 * The 2 kids comforted the 3 other kids, and the 3 kids left. But, Happy had this weird, perverted, nearing the borders of greediness expression. He said "Come with me." The 3 kids followed Happy into a building. He then left it, with bags of money. The 3 kids were screaming for help again.

Oh, you want to know more about the figure? First, turns out he was here, so I got out of there. Besides, I gave him a nickname; "tater toter" which is better than calling him "the apple thot". When I saw him 17 days ago, he seemed to have a claw like fingers. I don't mean like he had retractable claws in his fingers. I mean he had a finger claws

I also got a good look at how he ran. He seems to be hunchbacked, which means he would be taller when he would be standing up straight. I say about 7 feet he could dunke better than lebron james, although you could speculate that, because I don't have a picture of him.

July 14th, 2011
Jim Forester, a man who used to work on Happy Appy, just called me, telling me that Blair Meyes, the man who voiced Happy Appy, and a star on Fright House Screamers (Need to research that. Sounds interesting), had died in his town. The body had 3 claw marks on his chest, with one of them puncturing his heart. I would have guessed Forensic would have clawed him. However, Blair said that they were made by a being that would have had extremely sharp claws, because it managed to put a nice scratch on one of his ribs.

July 15th, 2011
Jim just gave me a DVD with 3 new episodes, including what could be part 2 of the Happy Appy TV movie. Unfortunately, they're corrupt as shit, because they need cleaning.

July 17th, 2011
I've got most of it working. Here's what happens.

The first one was the episode I mentioned that had Happy and the needle. It started out with what I said, and after Happy Appy chainsawed the kid, he then drove off, and went to a crashed plane, where the second scene I mentioned happened (You know, the one that has the 3 kids). After that, he was playing with some kids. Then, his skin peeled off, like a orange peeler was being used on him, revealing a rotten apple core. The skin then lands on a kid like a blanket. The show then ended.

The next one was the full Classroom episode. What I said happened, but with better video. After that, Happy goes into a science class, where a kid is playing with a bunsen burner, but accidentally gets burned. Happy then puts an ice pack on the kid's burn, and the kid thanks him. Then, Happy notices some kid getting bullied on by a older kid. Happy then told them to not give up. The kid then runs into a classroom, probably to tell a teacher what happened. It then ended.

Finally, I saw part 2 of the Happy movie. It started out with Happy Appy driving his van on a road. Then, a kid throws a rock onto the road. Not a small pebble, no, I'm talking about a big rock. Then, Happy's van rolls over the rock, and the van crashes, And when I mean crash, I mean 'actual footage of a car crash' crash. After that, some kids run over to the burning wreckage of Happy's Van, where Happy Appy is shouting "GET ME OUT!". When this happens, the happy-go-lucky music that plays normally is replaced by parts of Revolution 9, reversed. One of the kids says "There, his hat! His hat!", and it cuts to Happy's bloody stem. It then screamed, which was loud enough to make someone's ear bleed. The mouth had some bloodied teeth on it. Another kid then says "His body, his body!" Happy's body was badly cut up, with big enough cuts to make blood pour out of it. His eyeball was dangling out of the socket, while his teeth was shattered. His left arm was cut off, bone visible, with blood squirting out of the stump, while both his legs were broken.

He tried to crawl out with his only non-broken/decapitated arm. Finally, Happy died, to weird sci-fi noises. After that scene, it just showed the road, with the mashed up van next to his body. After that, it cut to a funeral, where kids were actually crying over Happy's dead body. One kid said "Why, Happy, why?". The final shot before the credits was the dead Happy, with blood on his broken teeth. Instead of the theme song playing, a dark carnivally music played, with pieces of the reversed Revolution 9 and Napoleon XIV's "They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!". A narrator said "His stomach was in two that day", "There were two, there is none now", "He's there, he's getting next to his sister with all he knows", and finally "He ceased to work in the underworld" Guess what the narrator was talking over? Happy Appy, with a bloodied scalpel in one hand, a bloodied X-Acto in his other hand. It slowly paned to the skin of the disguise Happy was under, like the magic trick episode, but it just stopped.

July 24th, 2011
It's been 7 days since I watched part 2 of the TV Movie. I still can't get the photorealistic body of Happy Appy out of my head. Well, guess what? Someone claimed to have the first part, so I asked him to mail it to me. Turns out he was right. Here is what happened:

It starts with the same carnival theme, with distorted voices. The intro was spotted with giant flashes. After when the original intro would play, it went straight to Happy dying from a unknown disease. When he talked, his lips perfectly synched with "THEY'RE GOING TO TAKE ME AWAY!" It then shot to one of the 5-year-olds. He was trying to cry because Happy was dying, but he didn't cry tears. He cried blood. No joking.

It then played a sad piano after another kid with a high-pitched voice said "They're coming to take me away!" It then showed Happy coughing up blood. Then, he went into a surgery room. What followed was a hour of stop-motion surgery. It was so horrifying, but yet so compelling. How did they make a good surgery scene with puppets? After that, Happy was seen on a wheelchair, and the children said "Are you better?" Happy said "Yes, my nice friends!" and gave them a big hug. After that, it faded to a title that said "3 months later" and started to fade in on the second part of the TV movie, but it was cut.

July 26th, 2011
Today, I went to a yard sale, and I saw a VHS called HA Bonus Features. I bought it for the cheap price of 50 cents. After that, I decided to play it. Unfortunately, it was screwed up, because it made some wierd alien-y noise. It made 5 wooshes and a weird noise. I decided to decode it, and after 2 hours of decoding, I heard Don't trust Happy Appy. He will murder you, he's a killer. Never trust him. Could that have been a kid trying to warn us about Happy Appy? Did he love me back?

July 28th, 2011
I just heard about the fire that ravaged through the studio that made Happy Appy. After taking a plane ride that took 10 hours, I decided to go in there, in case I find anything that could help me investigate the mystery of Happy Appy. It was completely abandoned; no one was trying to demolish it or anything. So I snuck in, because I thought that could help my search for Happy Appy.

When I went inside, I saw two rooms that weren't burned to death or crushed by debris: a soundset and a storage room. The storage room had a rusty lock on it, but I ignored it for the soundset. It was massive, about 100 feet long at least. There were some ruins of a blue screen stage, but what was really scary was that some of the cloth had blood stains on it. Most of the lights were on, which was strange, considering that the thing got damaged by a fire, except for the back. I wondered what was back there.

Then, I heard movement, and saw Forensic again, with red eyes. I got the hell out of there and locked the doors. After that, I decided to go and look at the storage room. The lock, although made of steel, was rusted (like I said) and was brittle, so I broke it off using a hammer I found in a desk. After opening it, I noticed it was some sort of vault; it had some tape sets that had labels on them, so I took them. However, most of the stuff just burned, except for a safe. I decided to take the safe. Unfortunately, it made the building unstable, so I ran out in time, just before the entire thing collapsed, killing whatever moved back there. I hope that it was Forensic.

August 1st, 2011
Today, I broke the lock of the safe. I just forgot about it, even though it was in my room. After opening the safe, I noticed what was in there instantly. Happy's puppet in the death smile mode. I got creeped out, but kept him anyway. I then looked at the tapes, but they were Happy Appy in a higher quality.

August 4th, 2011
Today, I saw Forensic, so I finally took a picture, nightmare material. He seemed to be more agitated, because his normal smile was a frown. I wondered why, until I smashed and burned the Happy puppet and the tapes, because I think they're powering Forensic. I could be wrong, though, which is probably true.

August 15th, 2011
Sorry that I haven't been updating this blog lately. I really haven't had much to say recently. But now I am getting very hungry. I thought I destroyed the tapes and the puppet a while ago. But when I went into the kitchen in my house, I saw them laying on a counter, in what looks like mint condition.

Recently, I have been having tons of nightmares about Happy or Forensic. I don't know why, but it seems like he is the only thing which I can really think about anymore. It's like he's taking over my mind and rewiring my brain. Also, I found a message in the letter: "YOU CANT RUN".

Oh, and I've learned more about Fright House Screamers, but it's not related to Happy, so... I'll fucking ignore it,

August 16th, 2011
I decided to look for Happy Appy...on the TV. I decided to wake up when Nick Jr. started, and watch the shows. It all went well, playing Dora the Explorer, and Yo Gabba Gabba, when a bumper aired. It said "And now, we have a special episode to show you, back from 1999! Please welcome Happy Appy!" I was excited. I would most likely see a new episode. And I did, but this was one of the early ones.

The theme song played, and then it started with Appy in his van driving around, and he sees this kid, sitting and crying at a playground. He then drives and parks his van there. When he gets there, the kid had fallen off some monkey bars and his pinky finger was broken. Happy Appy then said "What does Jake need to heal?" Then, he stared creepily for longer than normal on most shows and then said "That's right!" and then the kid hugged Happy Appy. Then, Appy drove away in his van running over like 9 old woman, and after the credits ended, that was the end of the episode.

So, after that, I wondered "There must be another episode. That was just one!" I was right. A new episode aired.

In the episode, a kid was running with a knife facing up, which was fake, and made of rubber, and he got 'cut'. He held his wound, crying. Then, Happy parked his van, and said "Hey kids, this kid should have not carried the knife facing up while running!" However, he did heal him by putting a bandaid over the wound. The kid hugged Happy, and he said "Remember, never run with knifes facing up, or scissors for that matter. Always walk with knives and scissors facing down!" Then, Happy took the kid to his van, and the end played.

Second Post
I have two things to tell you. First, I will make at least 1 post every day, all the way until when I quit the Happy Appy discovery. Second, I'm keeping track of the episodes. Here are my guesses (Note: Anything with parantheses describe the episode better): I know there's 15 episodes mentioned there, but I haven't discovered the other 9 yet when I posted this.
 * 1) Happy's Dungeon
 * 2) Hurt Happy
 * 3) The Monkey Bar Injury
 * 4) Happy Goes to School (The one with the math song)
 * 5) ???, title missing
 * 6) Nate Needs Help! (The Boo-boo episode)
 * 7) Never Run with Knives
 * 8) Happy Fixes Kids
 * 9) ??? (Happy Fixes Kids, Part 2?)
 * 10) Happy Fixes Kids, Part 3
 * 11) The Two Towers
 * 12) Happy the Doctor (The one with the green fluid needle, the crashed plane, and Happy's skin peeling off)
 * 13) Happy's Trick
 * 14) The Happy Appy Movie, Parts 1 and 2
 * 1) The Happy Appy Movie, Parts 1 and 2

August 18th, 2011
I was on Youtube today, when I came across a Happy Appy video. It was named "The Happy Dance". In it, it showed Happy, moving around like he was breakdancing. The music was slightly distorted, but it had someone making (and failing at) beatbox noises. Accompanying it was some lyrics on how to do the Happy Dance: Do the Happy Dance! Jump to the left (x4) Now jump to the right, jump to the right (x3) Now get down, and scoot to your left, scoot to your left (x3) Then scoot to your right, scoot to your right (x3) Do the Happy Dance! After that, it said "Watch Happy Appy every day at 8 am!" and then it ended. I know it isn't a new episode, but it's a nice cute thing I saw.

August 19th, 2011
I recently won a bid on eBay. It was a video games bid saying "HAPPY APPY 1990s RARE PROTOTYPE POINT AND CLICK GAME NO CLICKBAIT". Since it was about Happy Appy, I had to buy it. After a huge bidding war, which went to 1000 dollars, I got the game. It came in a CD, which had a nicely done label on it, and said "Happy Appy and the Quest for the Golden Apple." I decided to use it on Virtual PC, because I didn't have a computer that ran Windows 2000, because it was only compatible with that.

After installing, a icon appeared on the desktop that was Happy Appy's regular face, no death stares and smiles. After clicking it, a program popped up, which took me to a menu. It was a very early alpha menu screen; it had no fancy graphics or anything, just the title and some buttons (plus a copyright) in Comic Sans MS font. I expected that, seeing it never passed as a prototype. At the middle were the buttons NEW GAME, CONTINUE GAME, OPTIONS, and EXIT. Options didn't work, so I hacked the game to find the page for the Options. It was just sound, controls, and brightness: Nothing too serious. So I decided to play it.

In it, you learned the story of the Golden Apple, an apple that can heal anyone, and how it is locked in a labyrinth under the playground. Then, it went to the game. The first three things I noticed was a place indicator and a glitched up score, which (to be honest) looks like Zalgo messed with it. The third was that the graphics were horrible; it looked like a bad Game Maker MS-Painted game. To access the labyrinth, you would need a shovel from a kid, but the kid wants a chocolate bar, so you needed to get a chocolate bar from a vendor, but you had to find a dollar. After you got a shovel, Happy would dig under the playground and the entrance to the Golden Apple's labyrinth. However, this is when the game started to get glitchy. Sometimes, Happy would end up being two sprites, and they would go off at different times. Also, some sprites would glitch up.

I passed those off as glitches. After all, it was a Video game prototype, so what else could you expect? I got to a large, steel door. I tried every command. "Use door" did nothing, "Eat door" didn't do nothing but Happy said "Yuck!", and "Knock on door" said "Wait for the time to rise." I saw a clock. There was a command that said "Lift clock", so I did. And nothing. I decided to hack the game and see if there were any levels. There was a lot more, so I selected the level after the door. It was a long hall with old statues of apples helping children. At the end was a cellar door. It needed a key, so I wondered where I could find a key.

Then, a message popped up, saying "Look for the key-shaped pebble in the playground!". So, I had to go back up the stairs, and look around for the key-shaped pebble. After finding it, I went down to the hall (the door finally worked), and used the key on the cellar door. After that, I went down to a new room, which was a floor that was a slide puzzle. I decided to help unscramble it. After taking 10 minutes to unscramble, it showed to be a picture of Happy Appy. Then, the platform started collapsing, so Happy left the room to another. This time, it was a seemingly endless set of stairs.

This is when the glitches become more out of control. Sometimes, the game hangs, but no more than a second or two. Also, some of the wall sprites were replaced with a sprite earlier from the game, like Happy's van, or a kid. Still, I kept thinking they were prototype glitches. Eventually, I got bored of the endless stairs, so I quit. However, I wondered if the game broke, and the endless stairs were a glitch. I decided to test it out. I walked down the stairs for a long time, until a hole appeared, to which Happy fell into a room. There, he found a map. It showed all the rooms you were in, as well as the next room. After that, Happy found a door, to which he found a kid, crying because he hit his head on a wall. I thought that was a glitch, so I healed him using an ice pack. He gave me a hug and ran off, probably to the playground. I also got some glitched up points.

I wondered why he was down here, other than to get points. Then, I left the room. I was greeted by another huge hall. This is when the game started to look graphically good. There were big chunks of the walls missing, which had a pulsating purple glow behind it. That looked cool for a 1999 computer game. Then, I came into a teleporter. It would allow me to teleport from the playground to any place that had a teleporter. I decided to not teleport. Then, the screen rumbled, and the hall started to collapse. Unlike normal times, where Happy got out, he stood still, and didn't move. A beam then hit him, but he got out okay.

Then, I entered a circular room. I noticed parts of the roof was falling off, collapsing. Happy then went back into the room, and the rumbling stopped. I went back in, and the room led to another dimension. There was a road in a pulsating purple sky that led to the same labyrinth, but with some differences. First, the rooms were mirrored, and looked brand new. When I mean brand new, I mean like it was built yesterday. No walls were cracked, no doors were rotting, no metal was rusted. Not only that, the endless stairs weren't endless in the other labyrinth. Then, I wondered; what about the playground? I took the same route, and walked up the stairs. What I saw was unexpected. It was a woodland, completely abandoned, with the same landscape as the playground. Then, I wondered; Could the other labyrinth be from the past? I had some evidence to tell why, so I kept quiet. I went back into the labyrinth.

After that, I decided to actually look for the Golden Apple. By using the map, I found out that the 10th basement of the second labyrinth was where the Golden Apple was. Then, the game hanged for 10 seconds, before returning to normal. I decided to take the stairs. I was at the 10th basement, when all of a sudden, it absolutely glitched up. Sprites were replaced, Happy's face was replaced with a kid's, etc. It didn't help that a big rock pile blocked my way to the Golden Apple. So I wondered; Could I enter the room by walking from the same room, but in the old labyrinth? I decided to go back to the other labyrinth. Then, I got to the 10th floor by glitching through the endless stairs. Then, I entered the room. It was old and dusty, but what scared me were the skeletons on the floor. I wasn't joking; real skeletons were on the floor.

The zoom-in on the apple didn't help. It was rotten beyond belief, shriveled up to an almost-sickening shape. I then noticed the room was being disconnected from the lab, and was going to the other labyrinth. Finally, after crashing, I got the Golden Apple. Then, Happy started shaking uncontrollably. He was foaming at the mouth, and burn marks on both of his face meant that he was being electrocuted. Finally, he passed out, and he woke up in his van. The Golden Apple was in his hand. He then ate the apple, and then a golden shine slowly took over his body. He was gasping for air, until he suffocated. Then, text appeared on the top of him, saying "BAD END." I wondered why it said that, until I noticed the score below it. I didn't get a high enough score! Well, I'll replay it tomorrow.

August 20th, 2011
Today, I decided to check the game for any missing sprites and levels. There were over 40 levels that weren't used, including some roads which could have been in the opening, where Happy drove his van to the playground. Now, the sprites were a little disturbing. One was a skull which was on one of the missing levels. According to a script that was found on the same level, it would involve going into the fake Golden Apple room and taking one of the skulls. Another was a sprite which was Happy turning to the player. This sprite was distorted, however, but the sprite before the distortion was his teeth being red, from blood.

But the most sickening one was a sprite sheet called "failure". It was 150 or so sprites, showing a kid on his knees, pulling a sword out, and committing seppuku. After that, he stands for a while before collapsing. I'm not going to post the sprite anywhere, because of how realistic it is, even for a MS-Painted game. Then, I wondered if there were any sound effects. Yes, I was that sick to know. So, I looked through the sound effects, and found 3 that shocked me.

The first was Happy's voice saying "STAND STILL!", in a almost threatening way. The second was sound effects that would have belonged to the "failure" sheet, which includes the unsheating of a sword, and the sound of a blade cutting through flesh. The final was a 3-minute droning noise, with a reversed discussion at the end. I reversed it, and I could hear 2 voices:

"Are you sure he's in the temple?"

"Yes. Fill up the entrance and let him die."

I will be playing the game tomorrow, but with all sprites, voices, and levels correctly placed, to make the game more playable.

August 21st, 2011
I'm almost done. There's some unfinished levels that need to be done, so I took a dab at them.

August 27th, 2011
Today, I found the torrent of the 19th episode of Happy Appy, called Mean Miranda. It was about boys no older or younger then 6-8 being bullied by a girl named Miranda. Happy heals them, getting progressively angrier when the episode goes on. At the end, Happy Appy says coldly "Bully one more kid and you will get a surprise". Miranda kicks a boy, but then Happy gets in his van and drives the van at her. Right before the van hits her, the episode cuts into the credits, with promos for other TV shows. The promo was for 2 new episodes each for Franklin and Blue's Clues.

So, here's the new list.
 * 1) Happy's Dungeon
 * 2) Hurt Happy
 * 3) The Monkey Bar Injury
 * 4) Happy Goes to School
 * 5) ???, title missing
 * 6) Nate Needs Help!
 * 7) Never Run with Knives
 * 8) Happy Fixes Kids
 * 9) Happy Fixes Kids, Part 2
 * 10) Happy Fixes Kids, Part 3
 * 11) The Two Towers
 * 12) Happy the Doctor
 * 13) Happy's Trick
 * 14) The Happy Appy Movie, Parts 1 and 2
 * 15)  ??? ( Happy Appy likes children)
 * 16) Mean Miranda
 * 1)  ??? ( Happy Appy likes children)
 * 2) Mean Miranda
 * 1) Mean Miranda

September 1st, 2011
Woo, another month. Expect many posts to be happening over this Friday, weekend, and Monday.

Alright, so I managed to complete the Happy Appy game. However, due to me being tired, I can only provide a quick detail of the game for now. The plot is the same; Happy hears about the Golden Apple, and does stuff to get it. It's pretty much the same game, except for differences. {C {C {C {C First, there's a lot more rooms, with more kids, which you can save for points, but you already know that. Happy can obtain new powers, like Water Happy, who can survive underwater, Fast Happy, who can run and jump over large pits, and Strong Happy, who can remove rocks that block your way. The visuals are improved. Unlike the prototype, which had some blank rooms (like Happy's van), many things are now complete. Also, a glitch was fixed in the endless staircase which made it endless. {C {C {C {C There's also bosses, like Nega Happy, a version of Happy Appy that is like Shadow Link; copying your moves. Now, this is where the bad stuff happens. I already talked about the bad ending, and how Happy dies when eating the Golden Apple. Well, the fixed ending for it is worse. After Happy dies from eating the G.A, a kid walks in, sees Happy's dead body, and commits seppuku, ending the game. The neutral ending is if you get over 10,000 points. Happy doesn't die from eating the Apple, but the Apple works at random, healing some kids at some times, but other times it doesn't. The last one is the most heartwarming ending. {C {C You must get 50,000 points or over, defeated every boss, and saved every kid. Happy eats the apple, and the Apple works fully, healing any kid that gets injured.

But it gets even worse. A whole lot worse. Along the plot of the game, there are two bullies who follow Happy Appy, and that's where the mp3 of the people talking about Happy in the cave. Depending on these requirements, their outcomes vary. All of them require you to have the best ending. The last ending where Happy drives the van into the bullies always happens in the neutral ending, but not in the bad ending, but the parents always died.
 * 1) If you do it in a fast time, Happy just ignores the bullies, and kill there parents.
 * 2) If you do it in a medium time, Happy will tell the bullies to mind their own business, and they get upset and kill there parents, and force the bullies to eat them.
 * 3) If you do it in over 24 hours, Happy will get mad, and drive the van into them, while screaming “STAND STILL! MIRANDA'S DEATH WAS MUCH! MORE! QUICKER!” And then kill there parents.

And guess who I saw today? I saw Forensic again, but this time, I got a good look at a part of his face, well it wasn't even really a face. It was more like a faceless manikin. I was so terrified that I couldn't sleep.

September 2nd, 2011
This post isn't about Happy Appy and the Golden Apple, but it's about a new discovery I found while searching torrents for “Happy Appy”. It was a torrent of a intact version of the Happy Appy Movie's Bonus Features.(Visually, it wasn't good. It was just a simple menu with a white background.)There were 1 bonus feature; How Happy Was Made.

I decided to see it. It was around 30 minutes long, and showed the making of a new episode which wasn't released, called “Happy Meets the Rhubears”, where Happy Appy is in a crossover with Aphex Twin. Here's what happens, according to the clips shown; According to a worker, "This episode will appear in Season 2!" Of course, Season 2 never aired.
 * Happy is in the playground, when he sees a Rhubear running around. Happy asks who he is. The Rhubear does not respond, Appy eats him alive.
 * Richard drives in his long limo from Windowlicker.
 * Happy and a Rhubear devour a kid who accidently hit his head on the swings.

September 3rd, 2011
Okay, there's two things I want to talk about on this blog post. First off, I've been hearing a rumor that there's a actual episode of Season 2 intact, but it's a majorly incomplete fan restoration (Why would this show have fans?). How incomplete? Like, 90% incomplete. The rumor states that it was the very first episode of Season 2, called “Camp Aaah”. In it, it starts with the intro, as always, but with some differences. First off, Happy didn't dance in the intro, but starred the new main characters, sort of like the CSI: Crime Scene Investigation intro. After that, it cut to a scene where Happy Appy is in his van, but there are 2 girl(friend?)s in the passenger seats. The girls are only clay heads on sticks, like Appy. After driving for a while, Happy parks in the camp, gets a wash cloth, and sits on it, as well as the girls. They just sit there, staring at the sky. After a few seconds, another apple appears, sort of like one of those beach bullies you see in any movie that has teenagers in a beach, and Happy says “Move it, ladies”, although the quality makes it sound like “Movie it leddys”.The second thing is that Happy Appy does not have an IMDb page. The page some people are mistaking it for is actually a TV show called the Happy Apple. I could understand why people would think it would be related to Happy Appy, Happy Apple being the rarely used full title of Happy Appy. But it's from the 1980s. How can you confuse a TV show from the Eighties about a insurance company with a Nick Jr. TV show from the 1990s that has imagery of 9/11?

September 4th, 2011
Earlier today, I received an email about Happy Appy and the Golden Apple. It was from the person on eBay that I bought the game from. He said that he left out a sound file for the game and sent it to me. It was an mp3 file that was 1 minute long. I played it, and no sound came out. It was almost 0 bytes in size, so I deleted it thinking that it was just a blank sound file. I was wrong. Remembering that it was still in my Recycle Bin, I looked in my there and luckily figured out that I had not emptied it. I am now trying to decode it.

September 5th, 2011
When I first tried to decode it, I just heard static. Then I tried reversing it, changing the pitch, and adding volume with successful results. At first, it was just the sound of Happy Appy laughing. Not just a regular laugh. But a scary, hurting, and painful laugh. Then Happy started screaming and you could hear someone in the background laughing now. Again, it sounded like the person that was laughing was killing someone, but was also injured. I think that it was a child struggling against Happy trying to kill him, but that's just a guess.

September 6th, 2011
After 12 pages of a Google search, I found someone who said that they were a survivor of the staff who made Happy Appy. I was so excited and got their address, so I could meet them in person. I took a long way because the directions they gave me required me to go through a lonely dirt road, and I thought that I would get my shoes dirty. Hey, can't be too cautious, can I? Well, anyway, I was at an angle where I could see the person who was standing near his house. I was right about to yell out to them, but I got a closer look and freaked out. It was Shaq, standing near the house right behind the corner of a building I was supposed to pass. If I had passed it, Shaq would have caught me off-guard and stabbed me to death. I don't know why Shaq set this up, but he is definitely out to get me. He was still looking at the way that I was supposed to have come through and then quickly checking his watch, so he didn't see me yet. He WAS a human. He was wearing this weird gas mask, looking as if it were for decoration. His arms were bone skinny and it looked like he needed to put on 20 pounds to be considered "under-weight". He started getting more and more nervous and thinking that I wasn't going to show up. I decided to run off and tell you about this near-death experience, because it will probably happen more and more often.

September 7th, 2011
Since I was freaked out by Shaq, and it is nearing 9/11, I decided to check out the "The Towers" episode again. When I played it, I heard the faint whining noise in the background of the recording, and I instantly recognized it as a quieter version of the decoded sound I was talking about two days ago. I don't know why that sound was in there, but it was. I still can't imagine out what video matches with that audio clip.

September 8th, 2011
I realized: it must be Shaq and Happy Appy fighting. I figured it out when I was getting my groceries. Because of that encounter, I carry a switchblade with me at ALL times when I go out of my house, just to be on the safe side. I saw a police car with its lights on and sirens blaring on my way home, and decided to follow it. When it stopped, I saw Shaq drop a gun and something red, and run away. I left the police to run after him, and looked at the red thing. It was an apple with a face on it....The Happy Appy figure! I could have sworn that I saw its mouth moving, but I was so freaked out that I'm not sure. I went back home and looked for the Happy Appy figure, and it was gone! Shaq must have broken into my house while I was out, and stolen Happy Appy from me.

September 9th, 2011
I am not sure how, but maybe the audio was in a different episode of Happy Appy in the planned future, and got mixed up when they were putting sound files in. I really have no clue why Shaq was fighting with Happy Appy. Was he around when Happy Appy was being made, and put himself in one of the episodes because he was in the staff, or was he just infamous around that time and the makers decided that he was perfect material? I really still can't put this together. Today, I also read the news and discovered that a "crazed maniac was arrested after a robbery at a gun store, a home break-in, use of weaponry without a permit, and evading arrest". Sometimes, I ask myself why I chose to get involved in Happy Appy.

I had a dream, in it Appy came to me and said, "I love you, get in my van," and reached for hand. I happily accept, and we have 'fun',

September 10th, 2011
Well, tomorrow is the 10th anniversary of 9/11. I had lots of thoughts in my head today; will I be visited by Shaq again, or will I have a normal day for once? Will my house burn down again, or will I be murdered in my sleep? I am not going to make a post on September 11th, but on September 12th.

Oh, and here's another revision of the list, with Season 2's four (unreleased) episodes, and the duets properly listed.

Season 1 Season 2
 * 1) Happy's Vacation/Hurt Happy(The regular ones)
 * 2) The Monkey Bar Injury/Happy Goes to School
 * 3) ???/Nate Needs Help
 * 4) Never Run with Knives/Happy Fixes Kids
 * 5) Happy Fixes Kids, Part 2/Happy Fixes Kids, Part 3
 * 6) The Two Towers/Happy the Doctor
 * 7) ???/Mean Miranda, ???, Part 2
 * 8) Happy's Trick/??? (Possible second half of duet)
 * 9) The Happy Appy Movie, Part 1/The Happy Appy Movie, Part 2
 * 10) The Happy Appy Movie 2: The Happening
 * 1) Happy Meets the Rhubears/Camp Aaah (possibly vice-versa?)
 * 2) Happy and the Happy Cracker Backers(Never recovered)
 * 3) Happy and the fingers(Obscene remake of episode one)
 * 4) Happy loves your fingers/Appy Happy(Happy talks backward)

September 11th, 2011 (Fun anniversary)
picture1.pngAdded by I know I'm not supposed to make a post on September 11th, but I just had to get this out. Last night, a certain someone went on my computer today. Luckily, the only things that Shaq did were add a couple of (three to be exact) photos and a badly distorted sound clip. The images were made today, during 2:20 - 2:30 AM, while the sound clip was made on April 9th, 2005. Odd. All the images were most likely made using Paint.Net (Since I do not have a fancy art program like Photoshop, and I removed MS Paint from my computer, I have Paint.Net), had the file name 'image1' to 'image3', and all were badly drawn, but I expected that, because Shaq has a LA Lakers Jersey on, and he has a basketball not fit to use my mouse. picture2.pngAdded by The first image was Happy Appy during the Natural scene from "The Towers" episode. It was done on the black pencil brush (due to me knowing a lot about Paint), and seemed to take the least amount of time to do.

The second image is the only one that does not show a person (or thing). It is in fact a portion of the song "They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!". I wonder; what is the connection between Napoleon XIV and Happy Appy/Shaq? Is it that they're both disturbing to listen to? picture3.pngAdded by The final image is more disturbing than the rest. Shaq stands behind a black background which has "I'LL FIND YOU" in red. This photo is the most interesting because it shows a shot of Shaq that's actually more high-quality than the other photo I took of him (Even though it's quite bland), showing his long pale neck, and his unusual gas mask, with red eyes and a Happy Appy grin, yet no filters. Maybe they're on the back of his head?

Oh yes, about the sound clip. It starts with a bunch of ambience that sounds like it would belong in a factory; metal banging, steam blowing, all that stuff. It might be possible that it is just some of the distortion. But then, I heard a person walking, kicking over an empty tin can. I suddenly heard a noise that sounded like someone beginning to say "Stop!", before it goes to static for the rest of the clip. I assume it's Shaq dunking on someone, which is most likely.

September 12th, 2011
Today was one of the worst days I have ever had. But at the same time, it was also one of the best.

To start off, I was coming home after getting late-night groceries on September 11th when I noticed Shaq was humping the road to my house. I decided to run him over, so I sped up and had the car hit him at full force. I heard a couple of bones breaking, and I knew I must have injured or possibly killed him. So, I got out of my car, and to my surprise, I couldn't find Shaq, although he made a trail of cum which pointed to where he went, so I followed the cum.

The trail led me to the nearby forest a couple of miles out of town. I had doubts about it; Shaq had ran off into the woods, and is probably ready to attack me if I go too deep into it. I put those aside, because I knew I had one thing to do; I had to fuck Shaq, so I got my switchblade from the car, and went into the forest. The cum led down a dirt trail that would take anyone who followed it to an abandoned summer camp.

The summer camp was opened in 1996, as John Wilkinson Summer Camp. The owner of the summer camp was John Wilkinson, a 35 year-old man who had schizophrenia. For years, it was a very popular summer camp; even people all the way from Maine came here. Unfortunately, in 2004, John Wilkinson's schizophrenia reached a peak, and around 2 in the night, John got an axe, went into the log cabins, and killed 6 children before disappearing. The case remains cold to this day.

So, I went to the first cabin, A (The cabin series are A (16-18 year-olds), B (13-15 year-olds), C (10-12 year-olds), and D (7-9 year-olds(my favorite age to feel))). It looked like a regular cabin, minus the fact that blood was on the walls, beds were undone, and some of the wood was rotting. Oh, and there was an axe stuck on the wall. Obviously, since an axe is a better weapon then a switchblade, I took the axe. I then went to B, and axed the door down. It was the same as A.

Axed down C's door. Still the same as A. Finally, I axed down D's door. As I walked in, I noticed the sound of a generator running. After turning the lights on, I was horrified. On the walls were the mutilated bodies of Kevin Costo, Blair Meyes, and Miranda, held up by hooks. Then, behind me, I heard a slithering voice.

“Do you like my trophies?”

I jumped, and turned around. It was Shaq, with a butcher knife. I loved him so much. He was wearing a LA Lakers jersey and his 'trademark' basketball.

“Go on, take a closer look.”

When he said that, I was both horrified and intrigued. I decided to walk up to the body of Kevin Costo. It had three slice marks on his chest, and the skin on his face was half gone. His jaw was positioned to make it look like he was laughing. I had to do something. There was a broken mirror next to Kevin's body. I picked it up, and saw Shaq in a chair, sharpening a knife.

“So, you found me at last. Congratulations. Lick my face pretty boy.”

“What the hell did you with them?” I screamed. It seemed like the only thing I could say.

Suddenly, a strong gust of wind hit Shaq and killed him, knocking him down like the towers in the "Natural" episode. After he got split in half and he had a schizophrenic seizure, i found a tape for happy appy season 2 inside of his stomach. How did it get there? Well, it was a tape made of anti-corrosive plastic. I kissed Shaq on the lips and left after burning down the house.

When I got back home...

After put put the tape and in my vcr, and when it played, it was very staticy. But i could make out Happy killing a kid, and than swinging his rusty stick around like a phallus, and it apeared that happy appy started to consume the kid with his big stick. I looked down and Shaquille O 'niel'' s bald head popped out of my urethra.

"I love you." I whispered to him, and he slithered back down, to his new home.

8 years later I proposed.

"No." He said.

Hot tears streamed down my face, I was crying. I got into my favorite van and ran over a bunch of children. After that I did 9/11.

The End